I Won’t Apologize For Being Upfront About My Relationship Goals


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Many people would say that telling the guy I’m dating what I’m looking for in love is a bad idea because remaining a mystery is what will make him commit… eventually. I’ve tried the aloof approach before and frankly, it backfires more than it works out in my favor. I’m done with the nonsense. I’m completely upfront with guys about the fact that I’m looking for a real relationship and I won’t ever apologize for it.


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My honesty only scares off the wrong guys. If telling a guy that I’m looking for a real commitment scares him off, why would I be upset about? It seems to me that he’s doing me a favor since I’m looking for a grown man who knows what he wants and not a man-child who needs to play petty little games to feel like he’s won something. I don’t need to prove my worth through playing hard to get. I already know I’m a catch.


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I’d rather date guys who are on the same page as me. It’s actually pretty damn awesome to finally date guys who are not only unafraid of my honesty but are actually on the same page as I am in what they’re looking for too. In my opinion, too many people waste a lot of unnecessary time with people who aren’t aligned with what they’re looking for. If more people spoke their truth, there’d probably be a lot less heartache in modern dating.

I’m done with overanalyzing. With the way some guys operate these days, I’m done taking my chances on the possibility and likelihood that a guy is only looking to hook up and move on quickly with little to no regard for my feelings or what I’m looking for. I avoid all the BS and the nonsense drama by telling guys upfront that I’m looking for real love and a real commitment, even if they think it makes me seem desperate or it turns them off of the challenge. I’m speaking my truth. I AM looking for true love.


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Playing nonsense games doesn’t interest me. I’ve admittedly played dating games before, but I got over that juvenile behavior a long time ago and I’ve never felt better. Playing games may have worked when I was younger and more immature, but as a grown up, I’m looking for someone who’s equally as mature and honest about their relationship intentions. You get what you give in this dating culture and if I’m constantly giving vague facts about myself and “playing it safe,” I’m only asking to be played again. No thanks.

I want a guy who’s mature enough to handle my honesty without freaking out. The type of man I’m looking for is just that — a man. Guys who are mature and looking for what I’m looking for aren’t going to freak out or feel a shot to their egos when I tell them I want a real commitment or nothing at all. It’s not like I’m asking a guy to get on one knee right off the bat, but if he isn’t interested at all in falling in love and taking those next steps of being in a real and proper relationship, then I’m not interested in dating him. It isn’t any more complicated than that.

Being upfront is a good way to test a guy’s real intentions. I honestly believe a lot of women stress themselves out about dating for no good reason when the power is actually all ours. I’ve simply harnessed mine in my own way. When I’m honest and upfront with a guy about what I want, if he backs off or suddenly goes MIA, it’s a VERY good thing for my sanity. I’m no longer wasting my time with idiots or being led into bed under false pretenses. I might date less or have guys exit my life quicker, but I’d rather be run from by the wrong guys than miss the opportunity to find the guy who’s meant for me.

I’m sick of wasting my time and being led on for no reason. Playing the dumb fox game and acting like I’m not at all concerned with finding a life partner seems completely pointless to me and a waste of my precious adult lifetime. I’m at an age where I’m not dating for a sport or to figure out what I want; I already know those things because I’ve grown and taken the time to get to know myself deeply. There’s literally no point in wasting any more time on dating if it’s not heading towards what I’m hoping for in the long run.

Life is way too short to hide my true intentions. I’ve only got one life to live and I want to make it the best that I can make it. I won’t achieve any of my relationship goals if I continue to settle for almost relationships and the constant runaround by guys. Avoiding what I don’t want is bringing me closer to what I do want, and that makes me feel pretty damn proud of my honest and bold approach to love.

I’m a grown woman and I know what I want. I won’t apologize for knowing what I want and not allowing myself to get caught up in an endless cycle of settling for less. I’ve been there and done that and I’ve wasted far too much time following a set of “don’t scare him away” dating rules. I’m over it. I’m a grown woman with a good head on my shoulders and a life that I’m proud of, so being upfront about my relationship goals isn’t something I’m going to feel bad about. In fact, it makes me feel pretty fantastic that I’m not afraid to go after what I want without limitations.

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